Fear is the greatest inhibitor of
achievement that anyone can face. Why are we so full of fear? Without it, we
would parish. Fear helps us stay alive, but it also inhibits us. Fear of
failure; fear of the dark; fear of heights; fear of water; fear of the unknown;
fear of dying. The list goes on and on. I certainly fear many things. How do
you overcome your fears? It is hard to say. Some are natural and these are good
fears. Others are taught. Overly protective parents can instill unreasonable
fears and their children. Not out of malice, but out of a desire to protect the
ones they love. I've done it.
I think one of the greatest instilled fears is
the fear of failing. This fear can paralyze and keep a person from developing
and enjoying the life they live. Failure is not a sin; it is not a bad thing.
Failure is the path to achievement. Failure is the road to develop as a human
person. We should not fear failure. Our ego is the source of this fear, I
believe. We want others to think we are great or good at a particular endeavor.
We think that failure will cause others to think less of us. Who cares what
others think of you. Risk failure and you achieve great things.
I am always amazed when someone wins a bronze
medal and rejects it on the basis that they wanted gold or nothing. What kind
of ego is that? Coming out on top is not the ultimate goal. Being in the game,
being a participant in life, is much more important. I wish I had less fear of
failure in me. As I look back on my life, I realize that my
fear of failure was the root of my not achieving certain things
that I wanted to, but didn't.
One thing is for certain, if you don't do
something because you're afraid you will fail, well then, you will not do that
thing. You will fail. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, in essence, you
will fail anyway if your fear keeps you from at least trying. As Thoreau said,
only that day dawns to which we are awake. So, in life, it is never too late to
do something as long as you awake to that day. Anyone can begin a new life when
they open their eyes in the morning. Makes fear your friend use it to keep your
life safe and sound. Don't let fear stop you in your tracks.
I want to add some thoughts about the concept of benevolence that I learned from reading Jane Addams. She was a social activist in the late 1890s and early 1900s in
Chicago. The problems of the working class then were about the same as they are
today. I was very interested in her belief about relationships between
different people. As she grew older, she came to reject the concept of
benevolence. Put simply, it is the idea that the “superior" one has a
moral obligation to take care of the “less fortunate” individual, and in return
the less fortunate as a moral obligation to honor and respect the superior. It applies to many relationships. Very
interesting. To her it was a very
destructive concept because of its effect on the inferior person. It stymies
their desires to do what they want to do, because the superior knows what is good
for the less fortunate.
I see this concept today, in many
forms. There are the elite, educated and highly moral individuals who know what
is best for the less fortunate. So they impose their concepts of what is
correct on the less educated masses. The best examples I see today are rich,
elite politicians. For instance, certain extremely wealthy politicians
claim to be champions of the poor. Yet,
they live lives pure opulence.
It is clear to me now that
benevolence can be a very destructive thing. If you give without any
expectation of anything in return, then you are on the right path. In nature,
much is given on a constant basis. The interbeing of all things requires a
giving and receiving of so many things, yet I can perceive no concept of benevolence,
nothing in nature requires homage from anything else. Quite interesting.
Addams expressed it early in her
relationship with her father. She could never do what she wanted to do because
he controlled her life in a strict sense out of the concept that he knew what
was best for her. He paid for everything and she lived a very comfortable
childhood and early youth, but it was what her father wanted for her and not
what she wanted. We see these benevolent relationships throughout our culture;
father and daughter, husband and wife, men and women, boss and worker, clergy
and laity, the list could go on. One side dominating the other, out of some
moral duty and the other paying homage and obeying out of some moral duty to be
grateful, to be respectful of the goodness bestowed upon them. The concept of
benevolence is a Christian concept that has permeated every aspect of Western
culture. But not only Western. Confucius taught the concept of benevolence. The
idea of the relationship between the young and the old. Benevolence should not
be confused with honor and respect that we give others, especially our elders.
We honor and respect others who have gone before us because of their position
and because they have bestowed upon us the love of our past and of our culture.
It is honor and respect in a general sense. I guess if you do things for others
without any expectation of receiving anything in return, no matter what it is,
either material goods are psychic reward, you will have done well. Hard to do,
but it can be done.
